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Hello folks,
I’ve been meaning to do this for a while. It seems like I haven’t updated in a while,
and I really haven’t. It’s basically
been a year. I’ve been too busy to
right and update this thing, but I’ve really been wanting too. I really hope you read this thing through,
and comment, because it would be important to me. Thanks.
So today I had a math test.
I thought it was pretty easy, and I thought I aced it. Usually, when I do math tests, I usually
finish within 15 minutes because it’s so easy, then I double/triple check, by
doing the test 2 times over on a separate piece of paper. You’re probably thinking, how can you not
get any wrong if you do it 2-3 times over?
Well I wish I could say the same thing, but after every time I get the
test back, it seems like I do the same stupid mistakes over and over, and it
gets me a B/B+. Now some of you are
saying, well a B/B+ is a pretty decent grade, and you should be happy with
that. Well actually it’s not, for me
personally anyways, and it’s not for my parents. I mean I’m in Algebra 2 AE.
I mean AE is the easiest thing in the world. And it frustrates me to no end when I made stupid mistakes, which
end up costing me 10 points or more. So
after the test, I usually check my answers with Albert, who basically always
gets them right. And guess what? I made even more stupid mistakes. Including the extra credit, I’m at a 91
right now I think. But I’ve been wrong
in the past, and I’m not sure if I guessed how much each questions was
hurt. I mean if you see the questions I
made mistakes on, you would think I’m retarded. I feel like crying so much because I feel SO frustrated that on
each test I understand everything, but I always get things off. Wish me luck tomorrow. Anything under an 87, and I’ll go emo, I
know it.
So that brings me to my next point, (oh there will be many
many points in this entry). My
parents. I feel that my parents put too
much pressure on me with school, as do most Asian parents do. Because I’m in all AE classes, they think I
should get all A’s. I think I should
too, but in reality, I’m not that perfect, I’m going to slip and slide. In all my classes, I have like an 89
exactly. In math, after I get a test
back, the first thing I did was to call my mom telling her I got an 86 on
it. I kept on yelling about how I
screwed up, and how I hated it. My mom
really didn’t say anything, but I could tell that she was disappointed. All I want to know is that it’s okay to mess
up, that it’s okay to stumble, that it’s okay to not be perfect. The reason I give myself so much crap about
doing bad is because of my parents, and the fact that I’m so close to doing so
well, but my parents can’t see the effort I’m putting in.
Which brings me to my next point, school. I feel that school is a drag, and it’s
nothing but the same routine over and over and over again. How many of you feel this way? I wake up at 6, go to school, go to 6
classes IN A ROW, lunch, then ANOTHER class, go home, do homework, sleep, rinse
and repeat. I mean 6 classes in a row
is horrifying, English, Spanish, U.S History, Computer Networking, Chem, Chem
lab, occasionally. I mainly look
forward to school to hang out with people, but even that it’s not going great. The problem with a big school is that there
are so many kids. 500 kids in our
grade. I pretty much know everyone, but
not as well as I would like too. Sure I
have people that I hang out with, but I can’t say that I have any “best
friends” or even maybe “good friends.”
It’s a bit embarrassing, but in my whole highschool life, I’ve never
really been to a party, let alone anybodies house. There is the occasional birthday, but that’s only once or
twice. On the outside, I may looking
like I’m open, and I enjoy everybody, but I’m really craving someone close that
I can hang out with at my school, or so.
I also have a lot of friends that are outside of school, and I wish I
could see them even more. I really
never get to see them, due to the work load, or their workload. I try to keep in touch with them on AIM, but
I always feel that they are away, or that they have a lot of work do to, and I
can’t carry on a serious conversation I’ve wanted to talk about. There are some people who I talk to, and I’m
able to go to them for things, but I wish for something more. I’m glad that they are there, and I thank
them for it.
I wish I could go specific, but I just feel that wouldn’t be
appropriate.
School brings me to my next topic. Girls. I love girls, who
doesn’t? I’m more into Asian girls or
than others, but there is a big problem, especially in our grade. Why the hell isn’t there any hot Asian girls
in our grade? I mean when I went to
Taiwan, it’s Asian girls everywhere.
You think girls at our school dress nice, and stylish, well the girls in
Taiwan go all out, and it’s really hot.
Truthfully, that’s not the problem with our grade. Why can’t there be Asian girls in our grade
that are not immature, or naïve. It’s
killing me. Some girls really piss me
off, how they act especially. I wish I
could go into the specifics, but I can’t, knowing it would piss of the
people. There are actually 1 or 2 girls
that are cool, for lack of a better word, but I’d rather just be friends with
them.
I was meaning to end the whole entry here, but I’ll give
myself 9 minutes until 9:30 to finish this.
Camp. I miss
it. Who doesn’t? The fact that I spent a week with a group of
friends, and that week made us even closer, and better friends. I mean that week was so carefree, the sky
was the limit, and it was so fun. And
now that I look at my daily routine, it was nothing like camp. I would give anything for another week like
that right now. I sure everyone would
too. My biggest concern is loosing you
kids. Sure I can talk to you on AIM or
so, but I haven’t spoken to some of the kids in a while, and I mainly only keep
in touch with 3-4 people. It’s really
sad that way. Next year, a lot of kids
will try out for CIT, and make it.
That’s what I’m afraid of. Most
of the people that do CIT, won’t do camp again. I know it’s selfish of me to not want you guys to do CIT, but
yeah. I don’t know where I’m going with
this but I love you guys, and you guys are probably the best friends I have
right now, you can call it sad or not.
How many years of camp left do we have before we grow too old? 1 or 2?
After that is college. I’m
afraid I won’t be able to see you guys anymore after college. I couldn’t stand to lose you kids.
So here is where I end it basically.
Like I said, I’ve been meaning to write something like this
in a while, and I’ve been very open with what I’m writing, and I only hope if
you are at this point right now, to comment, and tell me something. Good, bad, or whatever. Right now I’m afraid of the reaction I’m
going to get, but that’s okay. I
couldn’t care less right now.
Thanks.
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